Why I love God

You lifted me out of my darkness and healed all my pain. You gave me beauty for ashes and put goodness in my heart.
You made me clean for the first time in my life and I felt it.
You gave me peace like a river.
You answered so many prayers for things in my life like the house, the car, my daughter, my son, my husband, and I know You Are Faithful to answer the cry of my heart now!
You gave my heart peace over the son we didn't get to keep.
You brought my son back to life when he was as good as dead.
You healed my daughter of her self control issues.
You take all the things in this world the enemy throws in and means for evil and turn them into something Good. Because You Are Good! Your Glory Is Goodness! 🙌
The world needs You. We need You!!
My heart is hopelessly wicked without You in charge of it. To change it and make it New! You took this heart of stone and made it something for Your Glory!!
I hunger and thirst for righteousness because of You. Only because of You and what You have done in me! Sharing Your Goodness with my hopeless heart so full of iniquity. 😔
I want to remain in Your Presence and consume Your Word, that my spirit is made stronger than my flesh!

Fruits

Lord, when I am not following you, the fruits of my heart are rotten. They are:
Shame
Rebellion
Hostility
Pride
Jealousy
Hate
Bitterness
Enmity
Fear
Control
Resentment
Bitterness
Anger
Disobedience
Unbelief
Arrogance
But when I am walking with You, in Your Word, my fruits are pure and they are:
Humility
Love
Gentleness
Trust
Forgiveness
Joy
Peace
Patience
Self control
Happiness
Goodness
Faithfulness

You are all that is good in me and I can not do any of it without You.
I am so sorry for pushing you away out of shame and fear.
I need You!

Scire

O Timothy, guard the deposit entrusted to you. Avoid the irreverent babble and contradictions of what is falsely called “knowledge,”for by professing it some have swerved from the faith. Grace be with you. - 1 Timothy 6:20-21
The etymology of the word "science" is "scire" which means "cause to be known".
I have seen more and more people lately start to put their trust in knowledge instead of God. Like it's become an actual diety to them. They can study the laws of nature and physics but cannot fathom The One Who wrote and oversees those same laws.

Dead car battery

The battery had died in our car from leaving the light on the other evening.
Rather than look around for somebody to jump us, I layed hands on the dash and we prayed for God to let the car start.
Adam turned it on and it started right up!

Gods Faithfulness with Adam's work

We prayed that God would move Adam's office closer to our house and God blessed us when the office moved 2 miles from our house!

My daughter's dream

My daughter recently had a dream:
She said there were 3 princes and a king. The 3 princes were all stealing each other's shields and squabbling. The king had a shield too and was just shaking his head in frustration of the princes.
Then they each found their own shield and their own key on barrels with their names written on them.
One barrel was in the front of the room off to the side, the other barrel was in the back of the room and third barrel was to the side of the room.
The oldest prince was the first to see the barrels and since he had better eyesight, he decided to go for the barrel that was the most hidden.
The barrel in the back of the room was the youngest princes.
The king had already gotten his barrel and key when he was still a prince.
The 3 princes were trying to hide these from each other but then the oldest thought he should show his shield and key to the king so he did and the other two princes followed and showed the king also.
Once they all showed the king their shields and keys, a door which had been on a wall but had no known way to open up suddenly showed 4 key holes and they each had to put their keys in the holes in the door for it to open.
When it opened, there was a blinding light and then they walked a little and there was a door with 4 shield shapes in it.
They each put their shield in their corresponding shield shape in the door and then it opened up.
She said that then she heard God talking to them from inside that door after it opened up and then she woke up.
She said that she knew from the dream that these were spiritual doors, not physical ones.

Drivers seat dream 8/18

My 8 year old daughter and I were in the car and I asked her if she wanted to try and drive for what I was planning on only being a moment.
She said she did.
She seemed to be doing fine for a little bit but then froze up in traffic and was freaking out. I told her to not move while I traded her seats but she was insistent that she could keep driving, like she didn't want to let me down because she knew I was tired, even though I knew that continuing to let her try was so dangerous and a terrible idea! I told her no and I put the break on to move seats quickly but she saw there were cars coming from behind and started going again before they hit us.
But then she veered off into the wrong lane and I was yelling at her to signal and get over but I realized she didn't even know how to signal at 8 years old!
I eventually had her pull over to a parking lot with lots of guidance from me and almost hitting a bus head on that had to move out of the way just in time not to collide with us!
The car went past the parking lot and over some steps down into an outdoor seating area at a bar and as I turned to tell my daughter she'd gone too far and to back up because the parking lot was back before the stairs, to my surprise I realized that the person driving was actually my husband!
I was apologetic with the bar owner and feeling embarrassed for him running over into their bistro area that way.
The bar owner easily blew it off after a little annoyance like they were old buddies and they both went off to hang out inside, with the car still in the bistro area.
I followed them inside with my 3 year old son and thought the kids were doing ok playing with my husband checking in on them but then I remembered it was a party house and that my son was only a baby!
I asked my husband where our son was and he said he wasn't sure but that he wasn't worried because he had put a helmet on him to protect him as he crawled around.
I was upset about this because I knew the helmet was too large for his head, too loose and was apt to fall off to the side and have the straps strangle him.
I went to go take the helmet off my son just as I saw him crawling towards a steep staircase and grabbed him up into my arms and snuggled him close.
I was laying there in the back room of the house with him snuggled up on me, waiting for my husband to be done, when a mini fridge door swung open from behind me and hit me in the head. It didn't wake my sleeping son up as my shoulder was blocking it from him, my body curled around him, protecting him.
I was going to close the little fridge when I looked at the door of it and saw that it had a really cold, refreshing looking orange soda in it. I was so thirsty and really wanted one but I knew that I wasn't allowed to have these more expensive drinks. There had been some cheaper, warm drinks set out front for everybody who didn't live here to have.
I was thirsty but not enough for the warm water set out front and had finally found a little quiet place to just snuggle my son and get some rest without being around all the partying in the rest of the house.
Also, in part of this dream, I had a wound on my left arm that had been slowly healing but then when I took the bandage off to check it I heard it making a venting sound like gasses slowly being let out and knew this was not a good sign and that it had abcessed and was turning septic.
I showed my husband this and that I thought we needed to go to the hospital as it was quickly turning septic, but he seemed unconcerned.

Another Joie dream

I dreamt I was in the church kitchen and they had been serving up delicious foods to everybody. Shrimp pasta, home baked breads and decadent looking cake!
I walked in a little late but clearly not in time for everything to be gone.
But when I asked for some food, there was hesitation. They said there was no bread for me but I said, "no worries, I brought my own homemade bread and it's really fresh and good."
Then I walked over to where Joie was serving up the cake and asked for a piece. I could tell she didn't really want to give me any and was hesitant and after first ignoring me, when I persisted then she gave me something else instead. Something I didn't ask for.
I remember feeling like things were kinda a clique that I was not a part of. And in the other dreams as well.
What do these recurring dreams about this person and then being hesitant to serve me food mean?

Crying out to God about Adam's addiction

God answered me and said: "you're contending for him... as I contend for my own people."
After having to look up the meaning I discovered that contend for means to wrestle, war or fight for.
This is accurate. I love my husband and hate the trap he's wandering into that's bad news for his soul.
I will contend for him in prayer and watch God move in ways that I cannot!
God Will be my Comfort and Strength in this difficult season where I am feeling hurt, alone and abandoned.
He Is Faithful!!

Driving tonight

When I was scared and driving to er tonight You got my attention by starting up a new song on the radio right on cue with me turning it on.
I told you that I know that was You and thank you and then cried when the words of the chorus came on.
"You're the God Who Fights for me"
Thank you God for Your loving reminder that You're still here and Fighting for me.
Then another song came on about being a broken mess and how God's not done with my story yet, right as I was crying to Him about how He could want a broken mess like me.
God, You are the God Who sees me and You Hear my cries! My heart loves You!!

Dream April 27th

I had a dream that we were going to meet my daughters teacher for the next school year. Kinda like a meet the teacher event.
She seemed really nice and had spilled meal worms for a pet tarantula on the floor. I was helping her pick them up and she laughed and mentioned that the adhd makes her a bit clumsy.
I told her that her and Rachel will probably hit it off then because she's adhd too.
She seemed like a great teacher and we really hit it off.
I introduced Rachel to her and she said she wanted to ask her some economics questions as she would more than likely be going into the gifted program.
I responded that she could and was telling her that Rachel was able to understand some pretty high level concepts surrounding economics.
She kinda ignored me and spoke right over to me directly to Rachel as if I wasn't there.
She asked her some questions and I don't remember what they were but the thing I do remember is after she was done questioning Rachel she explained to me that "the party" likes to start these kids off young with these concepts so they can market themselves to the party to show the skills they can contribute and how they can be useful.
A red flag immediately went up for me but I played along to hear more.
I was about to ask her if the party was a conservative thing but before I could she emphasized that it was a very liberal thing and that most conservative and Christian parents are totally not on board with it.
I finally decided to speak up and was saying how we are Christians and how we don't believe in communist values.
But to build a bridge I said that I do appreciate the social safety net in place for the vulnerable but I do think it could be executed in a better way as government tends to ruin everything they mess with.
When I said we were Christians the atmosphere in the room changed and the teachers attitude totally changed towards me. She became hostile and antagonistic and scolded me for being late to the event.
I tried to show grace, knowing that she wasn't a believer and didn't understand how to be loving right now.
I apologized for being late and was just trying to be really kind and humble.
After the meeting I went to find my husband to tell him what had just happened.
He was supposed to be in this big room where all our friends were hanging out but I didn't see him.
A guy friend of his invited me to come sit with him and I came over and sat down on the couch with him but then he started to make a subtle pass at me and I politely scooted away a bit. Then he went in to try and kiss me and I was about to yell at him about being married but as I looked at his face, I realized it was the face of my husband. I wondered how I could have missed that it was him all along and not a stranger. Then I thought about how he probably thought I was mad at him when I kept scooting away and blocking his advances.
Then the dream ended.

Shouts of praise

I see the shouts of praise from God's people rushing up all across the land!
The heart's cry of the redeemed!
Let the redeemed say so!!

Abortion

My thoughts are that abortion is the shedding of innocent blood and from reading scripture we know that God hates the shedding of innocent blood.
As for the argument about  God giving the people the right to choose and who are we to take away someone's right to choose, well then by that logic, who are we to take away someone's right to choose to steal, murder, etc?
God may have given us the right to choose but He also gave us the right to enact the rule of law, to keep moral order and to decree consequence upon someone who harms another human being.
We are not taking away the right to choose by decreeing it unlawful. We are adding lawful consequence. The person is still free to break the law as they they are in other crimes such us murder and theft. There are just consequences for it.
Just because we cannot see that tiny human, it makes them no less human. For the scripture tells us that God knitted us together in the secret place of the womb. That we are wonderfully and fearfully made. Created for a purpose.
Who are we to allow another human's purpose to be coldly stripped from them on another person's whim?
Would we do this with any other murder? Say it's their choice and who are we to intervene?
As for the argument on having the right to kill a human conceived in rape, why should rape (one horrible crime) justify the shedding of innocent blood (another horrible crime)?
Not to mention the secondary emotional suffering the victim now goes through, having made an emotionally charged, rash decision to kill an innocent part of her own heritage and later being haunted by a decision that cannot be undone.
Finally, I would ask if it's justifiable for the rape victim to be able to kill her rapist? Why or why not?
If it's not justifiable for her to murder the rapist who is not innocent, then how much less justifiable it is for her to murder the child, who is innocent!

Vine

Apart from You The Vine, my branch cannot bear good fruit.
Shame and fear are the lies that the enemy uses to try and keep me from coming to You with confidence and resting and refreshing myself in Your Love.
I feel guilty and get defensive and resentful. This causes hostility and further guilt and shame. It becomes a cycle. It hardens me when you want me soft and trusting like a little child.
You desire to quiet my worry with Your Love.
It's Your Love that sanctifies me.

Engine

Faith Is the engine that drives forth your works.

New wine

I saw a new generation as a pile of grapes, ripe and bursting with flavor.
I saw the vineyard owner gathering the grapes into his arms in full, abundant bunches!
These are the new generation of wine.

Dream 2/15-16

I was living in this village on an incline and the forests surrounded it down below. We were living comfortably until the village below ours was trying to pressure the leader of our village to marry their daughter to their leader of their villages son to join the two villages together in an alliance.
Our leader didn't want to be in alliance with them and resisted then the other village rained bombs down on ours.
I became a bird in the dream and flew high up in the sky to escape the bombs and as I was gliding around, I spotted the other village way down below ours, nestled in a valley with pine trees surrounding it. It was safe.
I think the two villages represented Ukraine and Russia and all that is happening there.

Forerunner