A Message To Every Missionary: A BATTLE CRY!

Please do not forget that what you are doing IS making a difference. All you see now is the small part you touched and can fathom with your human eyes but never forget that My Spirit is making ripples greater than you will ever know.
Don't give up the fight because you do make a difference and it is through your weakness that My strength is made perfect: poured into you, overflowing and poured out into the world around you in abundance, pressed down for good measure.
YOU, yes you, are my light in this darkened word. Don't think for a second that light stays in the vessel that carries it. No! It is poured fourth, shining on all that is around it, effecting much change that is not necessarily seen with the human eye but can be discerned through spiritual eyes only.
When you shine forth My light, make no mistake: the darkness trembles! The kingdom of hell is shaken!!
Keep fighting the good fight because I promise that it IS worth it! It IS making a difference! It is effecting much change!! If you could only see how the evil one shakes when you shine My love in darkened places!!
Do not be moved! Do not be shaken! For in the end, your reward is Great!
When you serve one of the least of these, it is not just "one and done". It ripples forth; the hope you have issued.
It reaches the darkest corners that you cannot yet see. It spills into every hurting heart. Every darkened slum.
You cannot yet see and fathom what I Am doing but if you could, you would be filled with much joy! For this is not the end of the story. It is just the beginning and I Am doing a new work you cannot yet imagine! For where there is hopelessness, My Grace abounds all the more.
And where The Spirit of The Lord is, there is freedom. Freedom from oppression that has bound the masses for centuries.
Satan quakes when he sees what you are doing in My Name! Don't be fooled!
his game is to keep you discouraged enough that you cannot see the bigger picture and grow weary, giving up in yourselves.
But it is not by your might, nor by your power, but by My Spirit that you are to live and breathe and take every breath!

Galatians 6:9
9 Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.

Dream of sudden destruction

In the early morning hours of 08/24, I had a very vivid dream and I believe I'm supposed to share it:

I had a dream last night that I was at a big ocean beach and we were all just having fun and morals had gotten pretty bad. There was no separation between men's and women's showers and changing rooms. In the dream, there was a girl who was wearing lingerie type underwear and proudly walking around the unisex changing room while a lot of people were freely ogling and complementing her.
At one point she walked into the same shower stall her mom and boyfriend were showering in and the boyfriend started ogling her. Even though the girl was dressed inappropriately in front of the mom's boyfriend, right there in the shower with them, the mom just started getting mad at the boyfriend and accusing him of being more attracted to her daughter than her. He didn't seem that concerned she was mad and just laughed and wandered away.
She didn't talk to her daughter about decency or anything. She just carried on with her like they were best friends.
In the next part of the dream, there was a young girl who had gone missing with her siblings for some time and her mom had found them recently.
The mom took them all to this big beach to celebrate their return.
I walked by them at the beach and recognized the little girl from the local news. I was excited to see her home and reunited with her mom.
I congratulated them all and as we were all standing around in a big, fancy, glass, dome shaped building visiting (it even had a glass roof), I looked past them, out this big glass window of the fancy building we were in, towards the ocean beach.
It had very suddenly gone from a sunny, nice day, to a windy storm with volatile choppy waves.
There were a bunch of other people in this big building too. Maybe like a big hotel or airport?
I pointed the sudden storm out to the family I was talking to and then, out of nowhere, an incredibly huge tidal wave that was even taller than the huge glass building we were all in overshadowed the entire building, towering over it and we all panicked as we knew it was going to come crashing down, full force on us and there wasn't enough time to even get out of the building!
We all freaked out, started screaming and some people were yelling for everyone to run away from the sides of the building where the windows were and pile up in the middle of the building and hunker down, bracing ourselves and covering our heads, similar to an earthquake/bomb drill.
This all happened in a fraction of a second, then the wave came crashing down upon us, shattering through the glass ceiling and side windows.
The force of it caused glass to go flying in all directions at us all!
We held our breaths, closed our eyes, and just tried to brace ourselves as this wave came crashing down upon us, full force! There was another couple violent waves that crashed down upon us and the force of them finally forced us through the front glass window of the building, as shattered glass was swirling past our faces. We just kept holding our breath, covering our faces, and just trying to survive.
Once we had been forced through the glass wall of the building, toward the land side, we all did our best to just get on our feet and start running towards the dry land, opposite the beach direction.
We were all just running and as we got to the regular land, we noticed that there were like military type officers set up all along either side of the path we were running on.
They seemed to be there to try and help the victims and control the chaos from the disaster but I quickly noticed they were carefully watching the people and were actually there to subdue and keep control of the masses that were going by and if any of the masses looked like they were aware of the soldiers or became suspicious, they would stealthily shoot that person, making it look like an accident or that they got in the way and became collateral damage.
The interesting thing is when they shot these individuals, they didn't kill them. The effect the shot had on the person was more of an amnesiac one.
They almost just fell asleep, forgot what had just happened, and became like the rest of the naive masses that were rushing by.
As I was walking by, one of the soldiers warned me I was getting in the way and that, "this is going to hurt a little.." and shot me in the back with a red mark. It stung a little and I started feeling sleepy and forgetting what had just happened to us all but then I realized what was happening and purposed in my heart to stay awake and remember what had just happened to us all.
So, I went along with the masses, looking like I was unaware as well, but secretly retaining my awareness and memories of the recent disaster.
About this tidal wave in my dream:
This is not the first, second, or even third dream I've had about a giant tidal wave! In the past, it's always taken place off an island of Hawaii, and though I'm usually in a tall hotel building overlooking the ocean, the wave is still tall enough to overtake the building all the way up to the floor I'm in. Which is always a high floor.
In this last dream, as we were being forced through the glass onto the land by the tidal wave, I remembered all the other dreams I had about this happening over the past years and realized all those warning dreams had just actually happened. I started to lament not sharing the dreams earlier and warning the people of what was going to happen before it was too late. But it was too late by the time I realized; the destruction had already come and the damage was done.

Dream 8/7

In my dream, there was a harmless looking creature that violently devoured unsuspecting individuals every time the month and day (year?) Were the same number. Once they reached their hands to it, it was too late and they were caught in the grinding centrifuge of its mouth.
Then later in the dream, I was about to go to bed for the night when I felt the Lord tell me there was a terrible storm coming and to keep watch and pray, instead of sleep.
So I closed the curtains around me and watched from the window farthest away in my room as I prayed.
Then the storm came: it started out as just a regular storm but then as it got more serious, I became frightened so God showed me a rainbow in part of the sky to comfort me. As I looked at it, at first I was comforted by it but then began to wonder if it was sent to comfort or just a natural occurrence with the storm.
As I wondered this, the rainbow turned into a complete circle. Kinda like if you were to hold a mirror underneath it and it reflected all the way around.
Looking at it, I knew it meant I'd soon be coming home to Him and see the rainbow encircling His throne. This made me very excited! =)
Then the sky started to show signs and wonders. As I looked, all the planets or maybe bunch of moons were all beginning to line up, so I ran to get my husband, Adam, to show him.
He could see them too and seemed to be more willing to watch and pray, once he saw this.
Then after we kept watch and prayed for a while, he wandered away to do something.
I continued to watch and pray and that creature who eats people was outside our basement window and about to take another unsuspecting victim. Just as it was going to tear into another, I decided to distract it from inside the basement, hoping it would let go of the one it had.
I taunted it and it worked! It diverted it's attention away from the victim and ran at my basement window, full force! It kept ramming into the window, determined to break the barrier between us, but I didn't feel scared at all.
Then, as it broke through the screen and a little bit of it was opened at the bottom, as I was prepared to meet and fight it, it went away.
I was back upstairs looking out the big window and saw more signs and wonders in the sky. I began to see the symbols for two of the planets show up in glowing writing in the sky. I believe one of them was the symbol for mars and I knew this had something to do with the symbol of war. The other one seemed more like the symbol for ceres.
I went to get Adam again, to show him. He again marveled at the signs and began to pray and plan for leaving soon.
I went to go show my mom and oldest sister and as they looked in the sky, they couldn't see the symbols I saw, even though I was looking right at them still.
They began to patronize me and went away.
As I was watching the sky and praying, a heavy rain was coming down, but only on half the earth.
I also saw different colors of glowing light in different parts of the sky and some symbols/signs I can't quite remember. But they gave me the impression that we would soon come home and those left would be fooled into believing that we'd been eliminated for not being evolved enough by extra terrestrials when we disappeared suddenly.
Then I began to see signs of a packed car driving across the sky and knew we had to leave. I reluctantly told Adam this, knowing he wouldn't take it serious as it was a hassle to him.
I was looking up at the sky and praying as I saw a symbol of an ear in it. Just then, Adam's dad, Robert, came through the front door crying and weak/shaken.
The ear disappeared and I saw an eye symbol.
As I saw the eye symbol, I cried out in a loud voice, "he who has ears to hear, he who has eyes to see!" and ran over and embraced Robert and began to minister to him.
There was one other symbol after the eye and ear one that I can't remember.
Then I got the impression that we were supposed to leave again.
The sky began to show a symbolic timeline of losing standing (a house became dwarfed by a bigger house to it's left), losing property all together (the dwarfed house disappeared all together), losing food, and then being tortured for six hours at a time.
So I knew it was time to leave, while we still could, so we would be safe from these things.
I told Adam once again but he began to say we would leave after he did a few last things. I knew he wasn't really planning on leaving and was just patronizing me.
I got the impression that he, along with the rest of my family, thought I had lost my mind.
I was so frustrated and made the difficult choice that I would still leave, even if no-one came with me.
I tried one last time to get Adam on board, saying we needed to leave to the store for some food, but to no avail.
At one point in the dream, I was with family praying and we were gonna take communion but I realized we only had wine and not any bread for it. I asked Adam to find us some bread and he found some oat biscuits for us.
But then my sister Becca got upset and said we couldn't use those because they were Codys snack and he would get upset about it if he saw. I broke him off half of my biscuit and handed it to him to pacify him.
Towards the end of the dream, I was downstairs by myself, getting ready to leave on my own and felt God warn me not to second guess anything that He showed me and that satan would try to get me to wonder if it was really God or something evil.
God left me with the impression that I must be on my guard against unbelief and that He was coming soon and His reward was with Him.

Saving Grace, Not Saving Face

Many think the important thing in life is to look successful and appear as if you never fail. Their desire is to hear others admire them, "how does she do it? She's so amazing!". Essentially they want others to worship them for their great accomplishments.
We get terribly uncomfortable with letting others past our perfectly sculpted secret walls to see the ruins and messy honesty that sometimes lie within. Afraid that others may stop loving us if they saw we weren't so perfect.
Our greatest desire is to be loved. We need it. We were made to be loved. There is only  One that can ever fulfill that aching need for love deep inside us though. He created us to be the object of His powerful and persevering love. Our fulfillment comes through letting Him love on it us and in return worshipping and looking up to Him. Admiring Him, not being admired by others. His love will never fail when He sees the mess that lies behind that wall. He  is the only one capable of healing that mess in fact. So let Him in and don't worry so much what others will think when they see the true you. Stand on what God already knows and sees and is healing.
When Paul cried out to God to take his weakness away from him, God replied by reminding Paul that His strength is made perfect in weakness.
You see, when we take an good, hard look in the mirror and admit that we're too weak to do it in our own, we free up God's grace to be lavished upon us, abundantly poured over us!
When we step out of ourselves and live in that place of His strength and Grace, that is when we truly learn to trust that He is faithful and that's the place when we will begin to see things not even humanly possible- the stuff that miracles are made of!
I would much rather borrow the abundant Grace of an omnipotent God than try to go at it on my own, with my pathetic human attempts!
In a nutshell, this life is not about saving face, but about Saving Grace.

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
2 Corinthians 12:9

The Holy Spirit

When I first started this blog, I wanted to share the experiences and encounters I've had with God over my journey with Him.
I was reminded last night when asked to share my "burning bush" moment with some friends, that I have not yet written about one of the most pivotal moments in my faith walk. This moment was a major turning point for me and I pretty much turned a 180° after it!
I suppose I've neglected to write about such a significant moment because it's hard to put something like this into words that are adequate enough to describe it.. I want my words to do it justice yet I know they never could..
But I'll try anyway because it's important to share.

So, here goes:
Shortly after I first accepted Christ, I went on a women's retreat up in the mountains of Island Park.
One night when we ladies were gathered around in a big circle having a time of prayer, I began to feel very dizzy and sway back and forth before finally falling to the ground. I remember it felt almost like a prolonged head rush. I was having trouble seeing and having trouble hearing. At first I was afraid of what was happening but then I felt what can only be described as an overwhelming and powerful release of every hurt I'd ever experienced up to that moment of my life.
All I could do was huddle there, on my knees and let God poor out of me all the pain I held inside, while I wept so deeply and inconsolably.
Shortly before the time I accepted Christ,  I was getting into some very dark places in my life. I had a very painful upbringing and as a young teenager, was an emotional wreck. I used to come home from a hellish day of school to an empty house, shut myself away in my room and listen to some very bad music and just zone out.
I had so much pain and anger inside that it was starting to turn into hate and rebellious indifference.
I remember crying out to God one morning, begging him to just put an end to my existence. I hated myself.
Looking back, I was seriously just trying to hold on and survive.
I had the very distinct feeling that I was not going to be able to hold on much longer if I stayed where I was, but I felt helpless to do anything about it.
Then, after a visit with family in another state, I felt a love I had never felt and asked my sister about it. And she told me it was Jesus inside her that I was feeling.
Now, we had grown up in the Church world so I was familiar with God and had even asked Jesus into my heart in my bathtub at the tender age of four =)
But over the turbulent years of abuse, divorce, and abandonment, I fell away and didn't really have much interest in seeking out God if my parents could go to church and act spiritual then come home and tear each other, and their children, down. It was a paradox to me and I wanted nothing to do with it.
To this day, there's this worship song that if I listen to it, I can still hear my parents fighting in the background after church.
So, when my sister told me what I was feeling was Christ, I knew OF Him but didn't have a personal relationship with Him so didn't KNOW Him.
I was captivated and wanted to know THIS Jesus. I felt a warm and peaceful love flowing out of my sister that day.
So, to make a long story short, I ended up moving back there shortly after and asked Jesus to make His home in me.
But I was still listening to the wrong music and had all the dark poison of my formative years trapped deep inside of me.
Which brings us back to that night at that women's retreat.
After what felt like a good hour of just inconsolable sobbing, I felt emotionally exhausted but also felt something I'd never felt before. I felt this sense of peace and rest I'd never had.
When I went to my cabin that night, I had the most peaceful sleep I'd ever experienced and for the first time ever, I felt clean.
I started to turn a complete 180° after that beautiful night and the things that once had a hold of me had no power over me any longer! I lost all interest in the music and movies that once captivated me.
But most of all, I had a kind of softness about me that I previously lacked. A love in my heart, not only for God, but also for people!
He had truly captured my heart and even my teachers noticed the difference in me.
One night, when I had offered to stay and clean up after the closing night party for our school play, one of my teachers offered to drive me home since it was late and dark.
When she got to the driveway, she told me she didn't know what had happened over the summer but that I was a completely different person than she had known the year before. That now I seemed softer somehow and was always helping others.
She asked me what had happened to change me in such a dramatic way and I just beamed as I told her it was Jesus and all that He had done and was still doing for me.
Now, I don't know what ended up happening with that teacher but I know she was listening as I testified to God's power that night and He touched her heart as only the Holy Spirit can.
She moved away shortly after that encounter but I'd like to believe she started an amazing journey with God! =)
Wow, this turned into a novel!!
Kudos to you if you stayed with me til the end! ;)
In closing, I will say that only God can do what was done for me that night. To remove years and years of hopeless pain and give me hope and a future!
He truly softened my broken heart that night and gave me a new heart!
If you don't know Jesus personally or are unsure, I'd like to encourage you to seek Him out and ask Him to make Himself known to you. I can promise you this: you will never regret the decision you made to follow Jesus Christ, no matter what storms may come! =)
I still haven't.

Joel 2:25
And I will restore to you the years that the locust hath eaten

1st Peter 4:8
Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins.